2013 A Year of Ups and Downs

So I don’t blog much anymore. Those of you who are friends of mine on Facebook know my life pretty well because I post status updates and pics all the time but thought I’d take a moment to recap 2013. Since this started as a breast cancer blog and has remained mostly about that subject, I will start with that.

My friend Sara who I met in the waiting room of Dr Limentani’s office was emitted to the hospital just soon after or perhaps shortly before the new year of 2013 began. Five days later on January 5th, my friend Amy passed away. Four months later after almost that entire time in the hospital, Sara passed away.

Amy and Sara were both unique and special souls. Both great friends with positive attitudes and great outlooks on life. I met their families and thank goodness for Facebook that I can stay connected with them through technology that everyone so quickly degrades.

Dan and I had been thinking and debating for over a year about whether or not we wanted another baby. Aidan was 3 and was in “terrible three” turmoil. Saying NO and screaming at us. Hitting us. Etc. We struggled with ways to discipline and nothing seemed to work. Until he turned four and then miraculously he is now a saint. Most of the time. He usually just misbehaves now at dinner. He is the pickiest eater. Another struggle point for us. He likes to call people his best friend. Niko is my best friend. Ibraheim is my best friend. Luke is my best friend. Jacob is my best friend and so on. His new thing is telling me I’m NOT his best friend and that I am bad when I tell him he can’t watch Ninja Turtles for the tenth time in a row or he can’t have pretzels and Popsicles for dinner.

Ok I just got way side tracked. So back to Dan and I debating about a second child. The day Amy passed away, it just clicked. I had decided. How long are we going to sit here and question it? Let’s just do it already. And after Christmas and the low key nature of Aidan opening his presents all by himself on Christmas morning, I had made up my mind. Dan was on board immediately and like I do with everything I jumped into Home Study mode. We got approved and began submitting profiles. The first four or five birthmoms chose other families. I was a stress case. We decided we needed a vacation. We had not done anything with just us two since Aidan was born. We booked a flight on a Tuesday for that Thursday sometime in mid March. The next day I realized my passport expired. So we changed our flight to St Thomas and St John. We got a call the day before we left about a birthmom due in a month with a girl!! That’s what we really wanted. We went on our trip after hurrying off our profile and had a blast. Met anther couple who was also adopting. They had been waiting a year. We clicked with them immediately and remain in touch often. The day after we got back, we found out we were the chosen family! A week or so later, our St John friends got an overnight call of a baby girl born in NY! Such an amazing time. Rushed down to Florida in early April, met SaraGrace’s birth family, including her birth parents, sister, paternal grandparents and maternal grandmother. Such an awesome experience just like Aidan’s four years ago. Got to be in the delivery room. Dan got to cut the cord and I had my own hospital room for a couple nights. Then a week and a half in a Disney themed condo and we were headed home!! Now we’re one big hectic happy family! :) I stay in touch with SaraGrace’s family through Facebook just like Aidan’s.

March and October mammograms and MRI scans came back clean. Lost a third friend to breast cancer late summer and have met WAY TOO MANY other young girls diagnosed this year. Have my next MRI in about three months.

Still taking my Tamoxifen pills daily which I hate. Have hot flashes every so often but other than that the cancer is almost five years in the past.

2013 – full of ups and downs. Most of the downs were the passing of friends. Most of the ups were the starting new friendships. But most of all it was SaraGrace joining our family!!

Happy New Year everyone! May 2014 be filled with more ups than downs!!

2 Responses to “2013 A Year of Ups and Downs”

  1. worththewait2 Says:

    Hi! I found your blog last summer as I was searching for breast cancer blogs and want to thank you for posting your 2013 update! Last March I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 29, after about 3 years of infertility. We had only done one medicated IVF cycle and were preparing for a FET when I found the lump. Luckily I caught it while I was still Stage 1 and my cancer was mucinous plus some DCIS, which were both slow growing and I had a low oncotype score so I didn’t need chemo or radiation…”just” 4 surgeries. Anyway, my oncologist said that we could wait until after a pregnancy to start tamoxifen (it was ER+, PR+, HER-) so we did a hail Mary FET in Nov and when that still didnt work out I started tamoxifen and we are now starting the home study process for domestic adoption. Anyway, long story short, it’s so nice to hear your story, with adoption after breast cancer! Do you have any tips for someone just starting the process? Thank you!! :-)

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      Yes I have tons of advice and thank you so much for your comment!! Send me an email and I can reply through that. Or you can call me or Facebook me. :) Danielle Kragnes Murray on Facebook. dk_murray@hotmail.com or 704-968-1105 looking forward to chatting!!!


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