Darn It, Hair Loss Begins

(Note: If this is your first time visiting my page, thank you for your concern and support.  You may want to read the pages to the left first, then read from below.  My latest blog entries will feed to the top automatically. ) 

Well, today it started.  Hair loss.  The thing I’ve dreaded most, aside from the fertility issues and some other things down the road (surgery, radiation, etc.).   I’ll try to make this blog entry as positive as possible.  This one might be hard though but I’ll try. 

It’s not that bad yet and only slight but I noticed it today.  It’s not coming out in huge clumps or anything but it’s more like shedding (like Buster, Shelby, Simba and Cubbie!!, my 4 lovely pets).  A few pieces come out at a time when I run my fingers through my hair.  More came out in the shower when I ran conditioner through my hair and then a little more when I was drying my hair.  It made me realize how I won’t be doing those things pretty soon – washing my hair, shampoosing/conditioning it, dyring it.  Nope, instead I’ll be washing my $1,000 worth of darn wigs in the sink.  Blah. 

I’m trying to remember the good things about this side effect: (1) My getting ready time will decrease significantly, as I won’t need to wash, condition, dry or style my hair, meaning I can sleep in longer or get to work earlier; (2) I won’t need to shave either and just in time for summer; (3) my hair will be shiny and easy to manage and I can change it whenever I want; (4) when it starts growing back, I can see what I look like with really short hair, something I would never do myself (maybe I can sport a Demi Moore 80’s do); (5) I can get extensions later like Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton.  Well I guess that’s all I can think of.  Unfortunately those good things aren’t good enough to do this on my own free will but I’m not doing this on my own free will so whatever. 

Some friends have emailed and said I’ll look beautiful with or without hair.  I know beauty is on the inside but it’s still hard to imagine wearing a wig for a year, maybe longer.  I remember when I was little, I dressed up like an alien for Halloween one year.  Mom said I picked it out – not sure why – but at least I’ll somewhat know what I’ll look like bald, since that costume came complete with a bald cap.  It was pretty funny.  At least my ears won’t be big and pointed.  Ha, that made me laugh. 

I called the oncologist office today to see how long it would take before it’s all gone and/or noticeable.  They said it would take 10-14 days probably but since I have thin hair already they said probably closer to 10 days, which is next weekend and just in time for Nina’s shower, great!! 

It’s going to be weird when people start asking about my hair (i.e., wig).  I can picture it now “oh wow, you changed your hair, it looks good” or “oh wow, your hair grows fast, I think yesterday it was like 10 inches shorter wasn’t it?” (that made me giggle too, ha) or “oh wow, your hair is short again, did you cut it?”.  I guess those questions will only last a little while though and will only be from people who don’t know, which then I can just say anything I want.

Regarding my surgery for Friday, where I was supposed to get the IV port thing.  I changed my mind again and cancelled it.  I just don’t want it.  The oncologist said there’s no signficiant long term risk and it’s just a preference thing.  I can change my mind later if I want/need to.  Everyone has suggested I get it but I think I’m going to wait and see. 

I signed up today for the Susan G. Komen race in Winston Salem.  Today was the last day to register.  Thanks for everyone’s donations, you all are so kind!!  I’m walking in another one in Charlotte on October 3.  If you want to donate, you still can for the Winston race but it’s a regional charity so if you want to donate, you may opt to wait and donate for the one in October so it benefits Charlotte more.  This note came from mom. 🙂  Either way, it’s still a good cause and 25% of all the donations go to help the national search for a cure.

…………[After I wrote this original blog entry, I realized that I forgot some of the good things about losing my hair, so I’ll append them here: (6) I won’t have to spend $200 every other month at the hair salon (making up for the $1,000 I spent on wigs); and (7) the hair loss means the chemo is WORKING (i.e., saving my life), which makes it all worth it!!!  That revalation in itself makes the rest of my complaints in this blog seem irrelavant but I’ll keep them anyway to highlight all my original thoughts.]

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16 Responses to “Darn It, Hair Loss Begins”

  1. Mom Says:

    Hi Sweetie! You are beautiful in every way possible. I have more admiration for you every minute! You are truly an inspiration for all of us. We love you. xxoo Mom

  2. lori kragnes Says:

    danielle,
    i love your attitude, please never change, yo have inspired sooo many people and truely have changed the world, please stay positive and don’t ever forget your loved by soooo many friends and family…..have a good day….love yah..aunt lor…xoxoxoxo…I still have my Jordache comb if you want it for your back pocket..hahaha..but i think i only have yellow, no maybe the blue one, no its the pink one…haha….

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      Hahah Aunt Lori you are so funny, you always make me laugh. I felt like I was talking to you earlier listening to you 2 minute and 22 second long message. Ha!! Call me later and we’ll chit chat. Have fun catering today!! Love you too!!

  3. Molly Yukica Says:

    Hang in there! You will be beautiful no matter what!

    I still say you should get a funky wig and wear it!!! Heck, we could all get matching ones and sport them when we go to you know where (Nina, don’t ask b/c we aren’t going to tell you)…

  4. Carol Lambert Says:

    Do you think your Mom will shave off her head in empathy? Did that get a smile?

    I think hair loss is what most women automatically think of when it comes to cancer. Hair is so engrained into who we are (or think we are). Just like jobs are to men. Each is important to that person, but to our family and friends we are still ourselves, with or without hair.

    Hang in there! Praying for you!

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      Oh I highly doubt my mom will be shaving her head anytime soon, ha!! That did make me laugh though!! 🙂

  5. vicki cunningham Says:

    Danielle, no matter what comes your way or what you are faced with, you always have such a great attitude and positive outlook – something for us all to learn and live by.

    Hope today is a good day, sweetheart.

  6. vicki cunningham Says:

    Paris and Brittany could learn a thing or two from you, honey!

  7. Nina ("RN") Says:

    Hey there sis! It’s funny how many communication tools we have these days. With all the phone calls, emails, text messages, and now blog entries, I feel a little overwhelmed with all the updates, as I’m sure you do too!!! 🙂 hehehe… I love your positive attitude, it shows how strong you really are, because any girl (especially the girly girl that you are) would have a really hard time with losing her hair. And for you to be focusing on the good things that will come of it is so important, and makes me so proud to call myself your sister!!! I know that you will be beautiful without hair, with a wig, an alien bald cap, a scarf, or whatever suits your fancy!!! 🙂 (that made me giggle too)…. Talk to you soon . . . I love you big sis 🙂

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      Yes, that Alien bald cap makes me crack up every time I think of it!! If the pictures weren’t so atrocious, I’d consider posting them. Don’t you dare get any ideas!! I’m proud to call you my sister too, thanks RN. ~ JRT

  8. Bekah Says:

    I thought of another positive about losing your hair:
    When it grows back, it will be fresh new undamaged hair. It will be soft and silky and more beautiful than ever!

  9. Christy Says:

    Remember Demi and Brittany shaved their heads at one point! Yayyy-it’s working- the chemo is WORKING:) Definitely makes it all worth it!


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