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Well, today it started. Hair loss. The thing I’ve dreaded most, aside from the fertility issues and some other things down the road (surgery, radiation, etc.). I’ll try to make this blog entry as positive as possible. This one might be hard though but I’ll try.
It’s not that bad yet and only slight but I noticed it today. It’s not coming out in huge clumps or anything but it’s more like shedding (like Buster, Shelby, Simba and Cubbie!!, my 4 lovely pets). A few pieces come out at a time when I run my fingers through my hair. More came out in the shower when I ran conditioner through my hair and then a little more when I was drying my hair. It made me realize how I won’t be doing those things pretty soon – washing my hair, shampoosing/conditioning it, dyring it. Nope, instead I’ll be washing my $1,000 worth of darn wigs in the sink. Blah.
I’m trying to remember the good things about this side effect: (1) My getting ready time will decrease significantly, as I won’t need to wash, condition, dry or style my hair, meaning I can sleep in longer or get to work earlier; (2) I won’t need to shave either and just in time for summer; (3) my hair will be shiny and easy to manage and I can change it whenever I want; (4) when it starts growing back, I can see what I look like with really short hair, something I would never do myself (maybe I can sport a Demi Moore 80’s do); (5) I can get extensions later like Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton. Well I guess that’s all I can think of. Unfortunately those good things aren’t good enough to do this on my own free will but I’m not doing this on my own free will so whatever.
Some friends have emailed and said I’ll look beautiful with or without hair. I know beauty is on the inside but it’s still hard to imagine wearing a wig for a year, maybe longer. I remember when I was little, I dressed up like an alien for Halloween one year. Mom said I picked it out – not sure why – but at least I’ll somewhat know what I’ll look like bald, since that costume came complete with a bald cap. It was pretty funny. At least my ears won’t be big and pointed. Ha, that made me laugh.
I called the oncologist office today to see how long it would take before it’s all gone and/or noticeable. They said it would take 10-14 days probably but since I have thin hair already they said probably closer to 10 days, which is next weekend and just in time for Nina’s shower, great!!
It’s going to be weird when people start asking about my hair (i.e., wig). I can picture it now “oh wow, you changed your hair, it looks good” or “oh wow, your hair grows fast, I think yesterday it was like 10 inches shorter wasn’t it?” (that made me giggle too, ha) or “oh wow, your hair is short again, did you cut it?”. I guess those questions will only last a little while though and will only be from people who don’t know, which then I can just say anything I want.
Regarding my surgery for Friday, where I was supposed to get the IV port thing. I changed my mind again and cancelled it. I just don’t want it. The oncologist said there’s no signficiant long term risk and it’s just a preference thing. I can change my mind later if I want/need to. Everyone has suggested I get it but I think I’m going to wait and see.
I signed up today for the Susan G. Komen race in Winston Salem. Today was the last day to register. Thanks for everyone’s donations, you all are so kind!! I’m walking in another one in Charlotte on October 3. If you want to donate, you still can for the Winston race but it’s a regional charity so if you want to donate, you may opt to wait and donate for the one in October so it benefits Charlotte more. This note came from mom. 🙂 Either way, it’s still a good cause and 25% of all the donations go to help the national search for a cure.
…………[After I wrote this original blog entry, I realized that I forgot some of the good things about losing my hair, so I’ll append them here: (6) I won’t have to spend $200 every other month at the hair salon (making up for the $1,000 I spent on wigs); and (7) the hair loss means the chemo is WORKING (i.e., saving my life), which makes it all worth it!!! That revalation in itself makes the rest of my complaints in this blog seem irrelavant but I’ll keep them anyway to highlight all my original thoughts.]