“Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” This quote was given to me on a canvas from Janelle as a thank you for throwing Preston’s baby shower a couple years ago. The quote has stuck with me since and I share it often. I also had it stenciled in our family room on the hallway cat walk.
“Enjoy this moment, for this moment is your life.” This one has new meaning to me now. It is also stenciled in our family room, on our mantle.
“Be kinder than necessary, as everyone is battling something.” – I saw this quote hung on the wall at the hospital where I had my heart echo test.
“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” – This one was told to me by Lisa, Dan’s sister and my wonderful sister-in-law, after reading my fertility hopes section. Thanks Lisa!
1. For the past three + years, I have been honestly obsessed with getting pregnant and sometimes distraught over the fact that we were having trouble. I obsessed over it every month and was upset about it often after dozens of negative pregnancy tests. Instead of letting things be as they may (or as God and the universe intended), I took matters into my own hands, underwent fertility treatments, hormone testing, several doctors visits, etc. It consumed my mind all the time. Once I found out I had cancer and before I knew that it hadn’t spread to any organs (which would have been incurable), I thought to myself about all the time I wasted being unhappy over not getting pregnant and thought about how obsessing over something that was somewhat much out of my control for so long was such a waste of time. I went back to one of my favorite quotes above and remembered “enjoy this moment, for this moment is your life”.
2. Trust your instincts and learn to recognize signs from God. For the past 8 or 9 months or so, every time I looked at the clock, it seemed to be 9:11 (am or pm), a signal and universal sign of emergency. I thought God or the universe was trying to tell me something but I wasn’t sure what. The next sign came the day I found out I was pregnant, which was on a Friday the 13th, another universal bad luck day. A few weeks after I learned my diagnosis, and all my tests were complete, now I see 9:12 or 9:10 when I look at the clock. Maybe coincidental, maybe not, maybe a sign from God, maybe not, but I wish I would have listened to the warning messages and instincts sooner.
3. Everything happens for a reason. I think back at all the circumstances that got me to where I am today and I think of where this journey will take me in the future. I know there is devine plan that is meant to be for me, and I will soon learn what that is someday.
4. Insist on a mammogram right away if you feel a lump. On a recent Oprah show with Dr. Oz (March 10, 2009), I learned that every year in the United States, more people die from medical mistakes than from breast cancer, AIDS and car accidents combined. I had two different doctors tell me on multiple occasions that my lumps were nothing to worry about when really they were cancerous, already spreading, and being fueled by my hormones. Just because you’re young, healthy and have no family history of breast cancer, that doesn’t mean you won’t/can’t get it or should write it off as a hormonal cyst or something unimportant. The doctors may be right and it may be nothing, but let the screening tools tell you that, not a doctor’s opionion based on a quick exam.