Fertility Concerns / Hopes

Well, as you know, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for over three years.  Before starting on chemo treatments, wormen typically decide to freeze eggs to use later down the road after recovery.  That wasn’t an option for us with the time frame (my cancer was considered high risk and it had already spread) and my cancer testing positive for elevated estrogen receptors.  In order to freeze any eggs, with little time, I would have to undergo 10 days of estrogen fertility hormone shots, something the doctors would not do and strongly advised against.  I also won’t be able to get pregnant for the entire treatment period, including the 5 years on Tamoxifen, so the earliest I’ll be able to get pregnant is age 37, which has been one of the hardest, most difficult parts about this whole diagnosis.  There is a 30% change (for my age) that I will go into early menopause from all the chemo drugs and won’t be able to get pregnant even at 37.  While I would love to adopt, many adoption agencies require 2-5 years being cancer free for those parents who have had cancer.  The only option for that would probably be waiting, or going through a private adoption.  I’m staying hopeful in the meantime and trying to focus on what’s at hand now.  I’m also living by my favorite quote: Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.  Getting pregnant in February, then miscarring two weeks later was devastating but it saved my life and was what brought me to a diagnosis.  And I’m also living my my second quote, “enjoy this moment, for this moment is your life.”


14 Responses to “Fertility Concerns / Hopes”

  1. Marguerite Davis Says:

    I am a friend of your mom, and have been getting updates from her. Please know that you have unknown supportsers “out there” pulling for you.

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      Hi Marguerite! Thank you for your message, taking the time to check out my blog and for being such a good friend to my mom. She’s lucky to have such great friends, although I know why she does! 🙂

  2. Ann Emmert Says:

    Dear Danielle: My husband Oliver and I know your dad thru business with Kodak. Our daughter Michelle was 37 in 2003 when diagnosed with breast cancer. I am sure she will write to you, but she is doing great now. What an inspiration to us she was and is–sounds like you! You girls are really fighters! She has 3 boys; her youngest was only 3 when she was diagnosed. Good luck to you and your family–keep the faith.

  3. JBBC Says:

    Hi Danielle, I posted elsewhere on your blog, and then came across this post. Of all the aspects of my treatment for breast cancer, the fear of what it would do to my fertility was the worst. Being diagnosed at 34 years of age, with breast cancer, I was very aware that I was already approaching the age where my fertility was heading in a downward spiral and my biological clock was ticking loudly. So to be landed with a diagnosis of breast cancer was a double whammy. It felt like adding insult to injury. During treatment I was haunted by the thoughts of what must be happening to my chances of ever having my own child. I searched desperately for the stories of women who went onto have babies after chemotherapy and when I found them, I scrutinised all the details of what drugs they were treated with, for how long, what age they were. I clung onto the hope that their story might be mine. And now, almost five years later, I am six weeks pregnant with my own miracle baby. Hang onto that hope – I was given very little, considering the cytotoxic treatment I received and my age, but there’s always hope and if a baby is meant to born to you, it will be. Good luck with the rest of your treatment.

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      Thanks again for your message and for sharing your story! Your blogs are great, very helpful and will help a lot of people I’m sure! I wish you the best with your pregnancy! I know what you mean about the fertility concerns being the worst part. That was (is) the worst part for me too. My husband and I got pregnant in February and I was so excited that my life plan was finally coming true but the miscarriage and cancer diagnosis followed shortly thereafter. It kind of put a damper in things, especially having kids, but hopefully stories like yours will keep inspiring others. It gives me something to hope for and to look forward to so thank you very much!! I will keep up with you on your blogs, thanks for sharing!!

  4. Julie Jones Says:

    Your story is inspirational, your courage and strength is so beautiful. I work in the same building as your mom and heard your story through our annual Making Strides Walk Against Breast Cancer Walk. I am currently enrolled in a communications class, and plan to do my speech informing the class about Making Strides and was wondering if I could briefly tell your story as an introduction to my speech?

    Julie Jones

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      Hi Julie! I am SO sorry I am just now responding to this. The date of your message was the day before Nina’s wedding and I must have overlooked it by accident. Of course you can use my story, I would be honored!! Thank you so much for thinking of me!

      • Julie Jones Says:

        Hey Danielle, so I did my speech and all went well, everyone thought that your story was amazing and I believe it inspired many of the women in my class to be their own self advocates and do regular self exams. Now my cousin Shannon Barton-who lives in Colorado and who donated to our walk here in Charlotte, is walking in the Race for the Cure out there and really wants to share your story with her team, but she wanted me to check with you before doing so… is this ok with you? Hope you are feeling well and once again it was great to meet you finally last week.


      • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

        Hey Julie! Of course your cousin can share my story! That’s sweet. I’m so glad your speech went well! I’m feeling much better, thanks! I know, it was great meeting you too!! 🙂

  5. JBBC Says:

    Hi Danielle, sadly I lost the baby at 8 weeks…it has been a very sad loss to us but we still think of it as our miracle baby and won’t give up hoping for our miracle again. Just wanted to share with you, as I wanted to connect with someone who understands what I am going through in a way that I know you will…

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      I am so sorry that you lost the baby. I just updated myself on your blog. You are an amazing person and have a lovely blog. Try to hold onto the good news that you “can” get pregnant and look forward to the time when it will come again. I know it’s hard to think of that right now but the fact that you were able to get pregnant after breast cancer is amazing and something to be very excited and hopeful about. I’ve started having signs of early menopaurse lately (no longer getting my periods, having hot flashes, etc.) but I’m trying not to think of that right now and am holding onto the hope that it’s all just temporary while I’m in treatment. I guess you never know though and your hormones can do some crazy things sometimes. Hang in there and try to stay positive and hopeful. I’ll be thinking of you.

  6. JBBC Says:

    thank you Danielle for those kind and hope-filled words and I hope you will take encouragement yourself from your own words! While those menopausal symptoms are distressing, especially in one so young, please be assured that it is temporary and will pass with time. I experienced all of those symptoms too and found it very upsetting, but they did pass and things got back to normal. I am thinking of you too x

    • Danielle Kragnes Murray Says:

      Thank you so much! I do indeed take encouragement from your words! It’s nice talking to people ahead of you in the battle and nice comforting others behind you.

  7. JBBC Says:

    Danielle, I often think of and wish you the very best always…

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